Archive for December, 2009

December 31, 2009

Dec. 31

I get ready to go on adventures. I am taking the bowls to my annual New Year’s party and then on to Kentucky and a weekend with energy practitioners. I feel slightly sick, with a headache much of the day and what I want most to do is lie down and sleep (which is how I process information coming from other realms and emotional stuff too), but I can’t. Later, I will be reminded this was a “blue moon” and a partial eclipse (no wonder I was a bit overwhelmed with energy). At the New Year’s party, the daughter of a friend brings a man from Australia, whose father associates with aborigines. He talks about how they follow the song lines: they will be walking and stop and change direction abruptly. He has been out with them. I want to hear more, but other events intervene.  2009 has been a very good year for me. What will 2010 have in store? I see the bowls getting more well-known and traveling with the concerts. Another CD and perhaps some teaching.

Dec. 29

New sequences coming in. I can’t seem to memorize them tho. And the bowls are arranged in a new way since the Rose Quartz/White Gold Alchemy and Sunstone found places.  Yet this means I jump bowls and such at times. Perhaps they will have to change again. The Tibetans are finding their way into the pieces more and more. The stem Tibetans especially have created a magic. Earlier I mentioned they were creating portals when they are played together. Their roundness echoes within them and expands out. I have decided to order the last three from a vendor and see how they sell. They are pretty amazing. The Lotus bowls which were my most high-end bowls found homes, so people want to work with these beauties and discover their richness too.

Dec. 27

Some days the mornings are a blend of this reality and something else. I do not know what this other is, but it feels like another world or another version of this world. It is delicious and fluid. Dreamlike in ways and nothing at all. No hard edges, no confirmed ideas, perceptions. Trancelike I suppose. I often feel I have a foot in this world and one in another.  

Dec. 26

The sounds have been returning at times again. No particular reason it seems. I am delighted to hear them. Perhaps I need to make more time for them.

Dec. 24

My sister’s brother-in-law and I have a great conversation about the singing bowls and how everything we know is not between our ears. He’s never thought that he knew anything any other way. And I ask how can you know faith or trust or love? These are not things one thinks. These are not rational thoughts. These qualities are beyond thought, yet we know them. He asks me if I follow a religion. I talk of how I left Catholicism because I no longer needed or wanted an intermediary with my God, and I didn’t want to be part of a group that would not allow one of my gender to be a full participant. I continue to be a Sufi however. I talk about how Sufism is a tradition of the heart, it is not limited to a religion and is not, as some say, simply the mystic side of Islam. My brother-in-law’s brother is surprised that it has so many lineages (I can only name my Chisti lineage, Rumi and the whirling dervishes’ Medlevi, and the silent Naqshabandi), and how its  roots grow into Zoroasterianism and before.

Dec. 22

I am playing the bowls one at a time.  Just picking one up and playing to hear its voice. I get to see my friend Lucinda, who has all kinds of ideas of how I might integrate the bowls and music with healing work. The University of Florida is doing a lot in this area and she offers me new insights.

Dec. 21, Solstice

I feel like I have the flu all day. It is Solstice, and I can do nothing but sleep and dream. In some ways I feel Avatar is having some lingering effects. I play the bowls just to feel them.

Dec. 20

I go to see Avatar. I know this isn’t exactly about the bowls, yet I can tell they hear sounds too. Their way of life is so integrated and comprehensive. I get to see it wearing 3D glasses — way cool. It’s a wonderful blend of dream and reality.

Dec. 19

An incredibly successful Open House today, with lots of people coming to hear the bowls. Some are coming to buy bowls, some to try bowls out, which is so much fun. Many people from the Angel House show arrive. One woman buys 6 CDs. I’ve made over 160 CDs since August, and have sold or given away about 150 of them. We’ll make another in January. Some people come at the beginning of the show and more at the end. For the performance at 5 pm, I suggest we turn out the lights and everybody just listen. A little ambient light still came in the windows, and I know where all the bowls are anyway.  And I just played. Once again, I know when the bowls are done. There were no tuning forks in this concert, perhaps they will take on a new role rather than just bringing the faeries in and such. They are so joyous when they play. One woman comes late to the evening concert and isn’t sure of the house, b/c no lights are on, but she lets the sound of the bowls guide her and joins us.

Dec. 18

Had dinner with two friends tonight.  The three of us met because of poetry, and a love of language. A year ago, I never would have guessed I would be here with singing bowls (nor could they)! My world has compeltely changed with the addition of these beings who sing to me. We acknowledged the changes that have occurred for all of us in a relatively short time and vowed we would write a 1-year and 5-year plan projection about our lives.

I have decided to go to Mystik River Retreat Center in Kentucky in January to meet with other energy practitioners, along with my friends “The Crystal Guy” Jacksons and play the bowls. I get the feeling I’m not to worry about the weather. Everything will work out. This starts to expand the geographic range of the bowls. Feels very good, like way beyond this occurrence.

Dec. 17

Started reading Sounds of Healing by Mitchell Gaynor, MD. Turns out he learned of Hazrat Inayat Khan’s work with mysticism and sound and then worked with Inayat’s son, Pir Vilayat. I was surprised and delighted, since this is my Sufi lineage. And once when I was in great despair about my faith and my connection with Sufism a tone came in that I knew without a doubt was Hazrat Inayat’s tone. Even at the time, I didn’t know how I knew this new tone I’d never heard before was his, but there was no doubt in my heart or mind, so I hung on to my faith. Then one other time, and only once since, I heard his tone again. The circumstance was not a crisis, but his tone was a joy to me.

In Gaynor’s book there is a quote from Dr. Huston Smith, a world religions expert, I’ll place here: “For the object of the spiritual quest is precisely this: to experience life as replete with overtones that tell of a reality that can be sensed but not seen, sensed but not said, heard but not explicit.” The sense of the implicit vs. explicit and the immanence and transcendance of the tones are all matters to contemplate for writing.

Dec. 16

Had a great collaborative session with Harry Pepper of Common Ground last night mixing shamanic journeying with drum and crystal bowls. Group was very interested and felt the vibrations of both. New sequences with the bowls keep emerging. And I am feeling the opening of portals more with the work. I have had the chance to spend some time alone with the bowls again as some other activities slow with the approach of the holidays.  

Dec. 13

Both cat and man are bathed in pleasant
insignificance, their eyes fixed on birds and stars.

“Searchers” by Jim Harrison, from Saving Daylight. © Copper Canyon Press, 2006. 

I play for Angel House’s Holiday Open House last night. It was delightful. People were mesmerized by the bowls. A bit different venue as people were sitting and eating while I played, but it doesn’t really matter to me. I just let the bowls take me where they will. People ask me analytical questions of the bowls, and I of the supreme analytical mind have no such answers for them. It is the Universe’s joke on me that all of that goes away for me with the bowls. And it is the Universe’s gift to me. I suggest people just sit back and relax. I mention that resonance requires both absorption and reflection, and our very cells can do that for us.


Dec. 12

I find this quote on someone’s web site from the French Jesuit scientist Pierre Teilhard de Chardin and offer it for your contemplation: “The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides, and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire.” 

Dec. 11

I talk with Harry Pepper, a professional counselor and director at the Common Ground Center in Oberlin, today about the collaborative session we are going to do next week — shamanic journeying with the bowls and drumming. He has a great idea about talking of altered states of consciousness and why humans want to go there and ways we do so. Then we’ll introduce the drum and bowls. Then he will do a drumming journey and we’ll do some processing. Then do a bowl session and after that do a combination of bowls and the drum. Should be way cool.

At one point I was going to play for a gallery opening tonight, but called today and asked if it was okay to do it another time. The owner was fine with that. I have another playing time tomorrow, and wanted the time today to do the ordinary housekeeping of life. I’ve ordered two more bowls for selling, and still contemplating another Tibetan stemmed bowl. I really like the A and C I have in this form. They have amazing qualities alone and together. These shapes and forms have some incredible capacities.

A friend sends a link to Kryon, which is a channel I have heard before and respect. He speaks about the bowls! So if you like, try it:

Go to   

Click on Site favorites

Click on free MP3 downloads  (yes). A screen of choices will come up.

Click on the one at the very bottom titled “Laguna Hills 2009”

Dec. 10

This morning I play for a group at a Retreat and Healing Center run by nuns. The group is particularly interested. Great questions. One woman is concerned tho about what her task is with the bowls and hearing the bowls. I tell her it is to relax and enjoy, nothing more. I do suggest she think of an intention for the focus for this session for herself, and she can just let the bowls do their magic. She is so sweet and so earnest. I tell the group that people have reported “results” from the bowl as long as two weeks afterwards.

I use some of the new sequences I’m exploring with this group. Later a woman who heard me only two months ago tells me I need to make another CD. She and her husband still listen to mine every night before they go to sleep, because it helps them so much. She says tho that after hearing me today, the playing has more depth and is richer. I need to make a new CD she says. (The CD was made July 28 and debuted in August.) Others too have noted how the sounds have changed and I would agree.

Later, someone asks me if I consider the bowls therapeutic. Again, I am stumped by this question. I say, “You know how we’ve moved beyond a ‘cure’ when we speak of someone’s ‘healing’? Well, I believe these bowls are beyond healing. They are moving into the sacred, communing with the Divine. Yes, that’s therapeutic and so much more.”  Someone else says, “I think an hour of the bowls would be more beneficial than an hour with a shrink.” Another person asks what it’s like to play for someone with a lot of negative energy. Again, I am stumped. I wouldn’t play unless someone requested me to play or I was already playing and they came up to listen. While I would notice the difference, I don’t feel affected by it. It’s like noticing something is blue or green when I’m with the bowls. Judgment seems to leave me, so there isn’t positive or negative energy. I have begun to wonder what it would be like to play in a prison or a detention center. I would hope it would be soothing to the residents. I think I just rec’d an insight about how the psychologist Fred in Hawaii that’s in Zero Limits healed the psychiatric patients by focusing on himself with their folders. Deena says to play the bowls to the you inside, there is no out there. I feel I am in-corporating/incarnating/embodying this more, which means it makes sense to me.

So after all this, last night I get to play for the Junior League of Cleveland at their cocktail hour for their holiday meeting. Some have remarked that the idea reminds them of Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality. I find this amusing and not offensive. I loved playing the bowls. I was simply the background music and only a couple of people spoke to me or took a card, but I could feel I was playing to my heart’s content, and so their hearts. What a beautiful contrast to earlier in the day and what a sweet way to close.

Dec. 9

It is springlike in temperature and the way it smells this morning. That is totally unbelievable for Cleveland, OH for December. I like miracles, so I’ll accept this one!

“According to the esoteric standpoint, music is the beginning and end of the universe. All actions and movements made in the visible and invisible world are musical.” Hazrat Inayat Khan, in The Mysticism of Sound and Music

Hazrat Inayat Khan was a Sufi mystic who lived from 1882-1927. He had been an acclaimed professional musician in India and then was instructed by his spiritual teacher to travel throughout Europe and the U.S. to bring the Sufi message of the heart to all.  His grandson Pir Zia is now head of the Sufi Order International here in the States and resides at The Abode in New Lebanon, New York.

Dec. 8

I am exploring some new sequences with the bowls. Fascinating.

Dec. 7

The plumber comes and can’t figure out the hot water tank issue, so it’s good for now. He tells me to watch for certain things and gives me a price on a new one. He sees the crystal bowls and asks about them, so I play a couple. He finds them interesting, mentions the water glasses people play. I can tell he’s fascinated. He’s an independent contractor, and he understands how we all find many things to do as part of our living, our way of life.

Dec. 6

I have to leave the jewelry show to play a concert. A friend helps out by taking over. The concert is a small group, and portals definitely open as I play. I play two times. In the second session, for the first time, one of the stem Tibetan bowls opens it. Usually a crystal bowl opens. However, all of the bowls were glad they were going to get a second time to play. I wasn’t sure I could play 40 minutes and another 50 minutes after that, but it all worked out. The one sequence that involves 5 bowls is evolving in ways that begin with 3 bowls moving to 2 or 3 others and then incorporates all 5 bowls of the sequence. I believe some other sequences are emerging too. Fascinating. When I return to pack up the jewelry shows and Tibetan bowls it turns out that someone has come by who is very interested in the Tibetan bowls and leaves a card. Who knows what will happen next!

This is St. Nicholas Day. In my own family, St. Nicholas would always leave a package for us on the front step — a family gift, like a board game (I think Monopoly showed up one year) or who could forget the Mickey Mouse rhythm band with tambourine and triangle. There would be a knock on the door and we would run down the stairs to find the package. Years later, I asked my Dad how he’d managed it. He said  he had to dive into the bushes one year, so after that he just knocked a broomstick on the basement ceiling and it worked just as well. I wish everyone a happy holiday season.

Dec. 5

Life gets more interesting. I am running out of cards as people come around to listen when I start to play the crystal bowls. Then when I stop I have to pull them with a tarp under a table to protect them. I see friends who are long-time writers who are interested and may help with some publicity of this. Several kids come by and I let them try their hand at it. Two girls who are the daughters of one of the artists I show how sound is a vibration and a wave. They think that is pretty cool. People wonder where the sound is coming from and gravitate toward it. Then we have what could have been a run-in with the bowls, and afterwards becomes a beautiful reconciliation. Amazing what happens. I feel great for all the work and what’s been happening. Usually these shows are draining, but not this time. I credit the Tai Chi, good eating and restful sleep. And I wonder how to credit the bowls. Cool.   

Dec. 4

The day is almost comical. After a day at the jewelry show, where I also play the crystal bowls and sell the Tibetans, I have to go pick up CDs of the singing bowls from my vendor on one side of town, to drive to the concert on the far end of the other side. More than 20 people have signed up! It’s a great group, many new faces. People want to purchase the Tibetan bowls I bring (which had self-selected themselves from those at the other show). Most people lay down with blankets and pillows and go deep. There is one young boy there, perhaps 11 or so, with his grandmother. He seems truly interested and connected. Playing was beautiful, very sensuous in movement, effortless. One section kept repeating a long time, and the bowls played loudly/strongly, more so than usual. Afterwards, people ask if we can make this a regular thing. I say “Yes!”

Dec. 3

I have been heads down getting ready for this jewelry show and loving the creation of new things. Then I get an email from someone who wants crystal bowls that are affordable. I would like to assist this person, and they offer me a paradox. The last thing these gem crystal bowls are is “affordable” unless you’re Oprah or Bill Gates, then they’re just pocket change. So there is an aspect associated with their purchase that is about faith or letting go and seeing what happens, what transpires and what is transformed. I can only speak of my own experience, but since I bought three bowls when I had no known income and then came home and knew I had to play them wherever whenever, the whole picture has changed. These gem crystal bowls are utter magic. I have witnessed hundreds of people’s repsonses to them and to the Tibetan bowls. No words suffice. Just say yes. And see what happens.

I get the lesson of finding dried water marks around the hot water tank. The plumber can come four days from now,which is as soon as I could do anything with the shows coming up. I believe everything will be fine for now. How interesting.

Dec. 1

I am putting stress on myself, getting ready for a jewelry show, accommodating other clients and knowing there are bowl concerts and sales to be done. I have to step back into that place of awareness, not fear or worry (which is simply a low-grade fever of fear).  However many necklaces and earrings I have made, that’s what’s made. Likewise, whatever I determine with the bowls is what is.

I have a conversation with a friend about how difficult it was a few years ago for me, many losses, many troubles and pain. It came down in the end to believing in a thread that connected me to God (or whatever one calls Source) and a belief (or perhaps only a hope) that God would have mercy and compassion for me, that I would not lose that thread and it would hold. I was pretty desperate in my feelings of loss, but I believed that much, and it was enough. It hardly seemed enough at the time. And all I could do was to ask that it be kept. My friend wonders if we all have to be taken to Ground Zero. I don’t know. I don’t even know if that was Ground Zero. But having moved through that crisis, I am glad to be on the other side. Perhaps it is a confirmation of what one is capable of. It does diminish some fear. I do not wish it for anyone. However, if you find yourself somewhere dark or you’re scared, believe there is mercy and compassion for all of us, for each of us. There is enough.